Claws and Kunai: Not Quite Your Cliche!
by lIf'slIkamazetAk1rongtrnurlost
Summary: Ok. 1rst story. But i promise it's really, really good for a newbie. Ya. I'm cocky. And it's hot. Summary: The Akatsuki and Team Taka are now... kitties! And guess who finds them? Not quite Sakura... MultiSaku fic, or MultiSaki! XD K ... for now.
1. Introduction

Info:  
>Name: Saki Hitori<br>Age: 16  
>Job: Special Assassin and Ninja Jonin<p>

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><p>Hair: Long, choppy, dark grayish pink hair with three streaks of a cool-ish neon green in it, one in her bangs, one on the side, one near the back.<p>

Eyes: Silver/Ice blue/ Black eyes. The colors changes! When I'm angry my friends tell me it turns to Gold/Scarlet/White. Eh. Idk.

Personality: Quirky, quiet in front of strangers, hot tempered, sarcastic, artistic, music lover, genius, lonely, keep-looking-at-me-and-you're-dead vibe, ever-so-slightly masochistic, ever-so-slightly insane, filled with really really strong emotions, kind and loving to children.

Likes: walking, stealth, running, children, singing, dancing, drumming, swearing, Suna, Konoha, Gaara, Naruto, assassin missions, acting, darkness, being alone, silver, my two pairs of custom twin knives, chases, and lying.

Dislikes: Many other people, blind attack, hypocrites, practicality, ugly noises, too-clean words (wierd huh? Yeah, it's a quirk), Otogakure, too-bright light, delicateness, girly things, crowds, and perverts.

Fears: Losing myself to ambition, power, bloodlust, or the demon inside of me. Not too worried about that last one though.

Special powers:I have a demon named Rosur inside of me, who is called the Winged Vixen. It has many, many highlights, way too many to put down.

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><p>What I think of my friends:<p>

Naruto: He's my best friend. I don't see him as often as I used to, because I'm real busy and he's real busy and blah. Too bad, I miss him.

Sai: I feel like I've met him before... Somewhere.. I don't know, but... ugh. It's gone.

Kakashi: Strange as it seems, I like that ol' pervert too. He's always cool and was never a jerk to me, unlike most of the villagers. And really, he's a good sensei, now that he pays attention to me.

Jiraiya: Perv! I caught him spying in the bathhouse once! He got a nosebleed while the girls and I were beating him up and we didn't even punch him there!

Tsunade: She's so kind, even if she is always drunk. I mean, what else can I say about my mentor?

Shikamaru: Lazy ass! I love that troublesome ass.

Ino: So many damn fangirls, and you pick THIS one to put on the list? I mean, she's all nice, sometimes treats me like a psycotic rival. Wonder why?

Choji: I'm always having to pay his barbeque bills because he orAsuma run out of money.

Asuma: He's nice eough. Don't know him all too well.

Kiba: Hehehe. Dog boy. I like Akamaru better.

Shino. He has REALLY cool bugs. He let's me play with them sometimes. He's like Edward. Quiet and smart, and secretly hot.

Hinata: She is sweet. She's head over heels for Naru-kun. She should stop fainting around him.

Kurenai: cool, kick ass chick.

Lee: Ick, do NOT start with me on that damn youth spopech. I hate it, it gives me a headache.

Neji: Damn ashole, he picks on Hinata too much.

Tenten: She deserves a better team.

Guy: I hate Lee. This is like, Adult Lee. Make any connections?

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><p>Villains:<p>

Orochimaru: Ahhh! Girly Bastard! Brucciare n'ell Inferno! *clonks over head* You're! *clonk* Supposed! *clonk* To be! *clonk* DEAD! *clonk*

Kabuto: Four eyed Oro bitch.

Sasuke: He's… an Uchiha.

Karin: She's… an Uchiha Fangirl.

Suigetsu: He reminds me of Naruto, except Suigetsu is silver and Naruto's gold.

Juugo: He's my favorite of the four. Heh. Weird, huh?

Pein: I've never met him.

Konan: I gotta admit… the chick kicks ass.

Deidara: I still don't know if this one's a girl or boy.

Sasori: Isn't he dead?

Itachi: …shut up. I'd rather not talk about this one…

Kisame: Two words. Fish. Stick.

Hidan: Isn't he dead?

Kakuzu: Isn't he dead?

Tobi: Uh... wierd... he's like... a five-year-old in a killer's body. What about that isn't 'The Roommate' creepy?

Zetsu: Hehe... plant face...

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><p>Opinion on art: Whether it last a millisecond or a millenium, art is a gift to be enjoyed by all who can cherish the gorgeous beauty. (Did I mention I'm a bit poetic?)<p>

Opinion on religion: Even there is some type of god or goddess or freaky thing, they gave up on me long ago and therefore I have no faith in them.

Opinion on music: Music is my life. Music is my world. Music is my everything. Music is my_ boyfriend_.

_There you go. A little background knowledge on Saki. Notice there was no Sakura? Interesting... I so just gave it away. XD Remember this isn't the real story and this is my first published fanfic, so don't be too harsh, pwease?_

**Tobi: TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!**

_Mazey is a good girl!_

**Deidara: No you aren't, yeah.**

_*sticks my tongue out*_

**Deidara: I'll bite it off, un.**

_PERV! *hits on head with giant sledgehammer of doom*_


	2. Ch 1: When It Began

_Hiyas peoples! I'm so excited that I figured out how to work this thing! So, this is another chapter that I've added right after the intro! Not bad, ne? _

**Sasuke: Just wait til later. She'll barely update at all, stupid girl.**

_You bastard! I asked for Naruto, not an angsty Uchiha!_

**Naruto: I'm here! Gomen no sai! They distracted me with ramen!**

_NARU-KUN! _

**Naruto: YAY! Haha, suck on that Sasuke-teme!**

**Sasuke: She'll like me more eventually. No girl can resist me. It's simply a fact.**

_Creepy bastard! You broke Saku-chan's fucking heart, fool! And you killed TACHI-KUN! *sticks out tongue*_

**Naurto: You do that a lot.**

**Sasuke: This is taking a long time. You forgot the disclaimer.**

_AAAH! Of course! Ahem... There once was a girl named [**CONFIDENTAL**], and she was sad. Then she went on and opened account as lif'slikamazetak1rongturn&urlost began writing stories, and she wasn't sad. But then she was sad all over again because at the beginning of each story she wrote she had to prove she didn't *sniff* own *sob* NARUTO. _

**Naruto: Awwww! Do you need a hug?**

_YAY! *hugs Naruto*_

**Sasuke: *sulks in corner***

* * *

><p><em>Brrrrriiiiiiinnnnngggg<em>

_Brrrrriiiiiiinnnnngggg_

Eyes open. Saki's ice blue irises were greeted with the bright yellows and reds and blacks of the mural on the first floor's gigantic ceiling. She glanced down at the plastic alarm clock. It was so cheap. She smashed a hand into it. 'God, it's only eight fourteen…' she though, groggily to herself.

"Holy SHIT IT IS EIGHT FOURTEEN!" she screeched. She jumped from her loft like bed towards the railing of the second floor, and landed gracefully on the first floor's smooth and polished wooden planks. She hopped into the shower, taking her clothes off whilst inside it. She needed to wash them anyways. After five seconds, she scurried out and brushed her teeth in one hand and blew dry her hair in the others. Then, naked as can be, she ran towards her mahogany wardrobe and pulled out a bra, underwear, random dark shirt and some random short bottoms. She hustled into the kitchen and snatched an apple and her favorite iPod off the stupid tiled counter. She was glad, at the moment, to have no parents to boss her around or get in her way as she got dressed. She knew most teenagers had to work around their obnoxious moms and dads, and was half grateful her parents hadn't thought her worth the trouble. As she selected her song, "Forget You" by Cee Lo Green, she tugged on her boots, and tied in her weapons, and was off.

"Fuck!" she shrieked as she tripped over a suspicious heavy item with sharp corners and landed on her back, on the concrete porch in front of her house. She groaned and propped herself up on her elbows, rubbing her head and cussing more. However tough and fearless she was, sidewalk verses face always results in victorious concrete and a bruised kunoichi forehead. She glared at the indiscrete cause of her fall. A soggy cardboard box lay on its side.'

"Oh, shit… there are air holes. Damn, of course it's me that just happens to be cursed with some kind of animal that I can't turn away," she grumbled, standing up and rushing to grab the poor, scratched iPod that had skidded just a ways away. She jogged back to her porch and picked up the heavy box, lugging it into the living room. Ignoring the fact that most ordinary people, even ninjas, would've just walked two feet and grabbed scissors, she wrenched open the tops with clawed fingers.

"Now what… have… we… here?" she muttered, gasping as a huge number of adorable kittens blinked up at her. She sighed, her eyes still locked with the cats. She counted them, and came with the incredible number of fourteen amazingly cuter-than-normal young cats.

"Shit. Cats."

"Shit?" the silvery-white haired and violet-eyed one shrieked. "That's the greeting we get! Listen up, we've been in there for weeks!"

"And they talk."

"Shut the hell up, bitch!"

"Talking, _cussing _cats. Ain't this just my lucky day?" she groaned.

"Excuse me…" an orange one asked. This one has piercings! 'Maybe I should get a couple piercings.' Mai thought absently to herself. "…but we're seeking housing."

"Nice nose job," she mocked, unable to get over it. "Anyways, who are you guys? I refuse to believe you guys are just anybody."

"Why is that?" a much calmer, scarlet kitty with soft brown eyes inquired.

"Because you can't spell believe without a _lie_ in the middle," she joked with a charming (and slightly scary) grin. "Now, tell me and it just could be a, uh, possibility." A bright blue, and what Saki suspected was female, kitten stepped forward, causing the cardboard box to fall over and the multi-colored kittens to fall over the wooden floor. Saki sighed. The same feminine feline cautiously stepped forward.

"We're uh…" she trailed off.

"Well?" Saki demanded, crossing her arms. "Are you gonna finish tha-"

And that is the moment a shiny black-brown cat with a blazing orange face decided to leap onto the Hitori girl.

"Whoa! Whoa! What the-"

"Tobi is a good boy! Please don't turn us to the streets!" the cuddling feline, apparently Tobi, pleaded.

"Okay… Tobi, Tobi… from the Akatsuki?" she wondered aloud. Tobi nodded, happy to have the beautiful girl recognize him.

"Okay, so there's Tobi, Pein, Konan, Zetsu, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, and Kakuzu…" she named, pointing out the corresponding kittens. They nodded in turn, except for Tobi, who yelled about his being a good boy. "So let me guess… the other four, Team Hebi? Suigetsu, Juugo, Sasuke, and Karin?" Those four agreed to the introduction. She snorted and glared unnecessarily at the black one, presumably Sasuke.

"So, yeah. I'm gonna go get food from your kitchen, un…" Deidara meowed and headed towards said kitchen.

"Uh, yeah, ha! Noooooooooo waaaaayy, I'm not letting S-class criminals stay in my own home! I could get arrested, or fired, or sentenced to death, or a billion other things!"

"Not our problem," the black haired and matching eyed cat, presumably Sasuke, growled.

"Exactly! Just like _you guys _aren't mine," she explained with a roll of her eyes, and began to pick up cats and place them forcefully back into the box, ignoring the protesting mews and violent claws that followed. Kisame rolled his eyes, but didn't fight. She smiled at him. _He _respected her as a girl!

Itachi glared and Saki responded with one of her special reserved looks. She was sure he felt special, because he actually cowered a bit. It then continued with Itachi's result until she got to Konan, who assured her she understood. The Hitori genius decided that Kisame and Konan were her favorites so far. Then… came… Tobi.

"Tobi doesn't want to leave the nice girl! Don't make Tobi leave!" he begged, his claws hooked into her shirt.

"Sorry… Tobi… But… Saki's… Got… No… CHOICE!" she grunted out with effort as she forced him into the box and hauled them all out. She set it out besides her porch and got out a permanent marker she kept in her back pocket at all times. (You never know when teammates will fall asleep on missions, after all, and they needed to learn from their actions.) She wrote on the top:

**KITTENS 4 FREE!**

**BUY ONE GET THIRTEEN FREE! **

She nodded firmly to herself, satisfied with her work, and went inside to grab her iPod. She then proceeded to leave, sprinting through the village. As she passed by the ramen stand, she spotted Naruto, Hinata, Tenten, Kiba, and Kakashi having their breakfast.

"A little late for you, eh, Saki-chan?" called out a hyper Naruto. She grinned and stopped, waltzing over to the stand in her special way. She was still grinning cutely as she came up behind Naruto and grabbed his shoulders.

"Heya, Naru-kun…" she began, noticing his deep blush. She smacked him over the head. "…shut up."

"Yes ma'am."

"Gotta go, love to join, can't, bye!" she yelled back, running off. Where? To train of course! Duh. Silly person.

_**After a full day of training on her supposed day OFF FROM WORK.**_

She sighed, happy with her progress with her demon. Saki's demon was named Rosur, was different from any other demon. She, like Saki, was infamous, yet unheard of to actually exist anything other than legend. Rose, as Saki called her, was the Winged Vixen, aka the Ten-Tailed Beast, and was supposed to have been destroyed by the other demons in the beginning of time. Secretly, though, the Lost Hitori Clan had carried her from baby to baby as long as time. Of course, anybody other than Saki's friends also believed the Hitori clan had been killed off. Silly people. As Saki threw her keys on her fluffy couch, she plopped onto her armchair and began to read and decode a scroll she had found and kept for herself on her last Exploration mission. (These were new, for Tsunade wanted to know about the other villages and history and such junk.) But as she and Rose almost found the very language it was written in, a chorus of annoying sounds erupted into their focus.

"Mew… Mew… Mew…"

The cats had plotted. The cats had schemed. The cats had _just begun_.

"Shut up you damn cats!" she yelled as she got up from where she had just sat down. They were making her guilt drive her crazy. Abandon criminals? Ok. Abandon criminals transformed into adorable kitties? Not ok.

Then. Oh, then!

It started to rain. Just add a violin and a sad sob story and you'd have the picture of depression.

Saki sighed as the meows grew to shrieks and the pitiful guilt bubbled up once again, except stronger. She just had to open the front door and save the crazy little furballs of death.

"I must be losing my fucking mind…" she murmured. She opened the door and grabbed the soaked box, stealing it away to the land of warmth and fluffy pillows. She dropped it onto the coffee table with a plop and a squelch and opened it easily to find eleven smug smirks, two sympathetic smiles, and one ecstatic grin. I'll give you three guesses who was wearing the grin. And the first two don't count.

"Yay! Tobi gets to be with the nice girl again!"

You have guessed correctly.

Saki sighed again and picked him up. She scrutinized him for a moment, then nodded.

"Yep!" she exclaimed.

"Yes what?" asked Suigetsu, slightly curious.

"This one's my favorite!" she smiled, as Tobi did the equal of that cat-wise. She beamed even more and cuddled him close to her neck and cheek, hearts spouting between the duo. Konan huffed and took a step forward.

"Ahem, he's not a fellow female!" she complained.

"Oh yeah, and Konan too!"

"Sweeeeeeeet! I gotta a girl to do… girl stuff with!"

"Yeah, sure, you may be a criminal, but you're a girl criminal, so you can't be as bad as them," Saki complimented, then pointed distastefully at the others.

"Thanks! You too, so what can we-"

"Cut the mind-fucking and get us dry!" Hidan snapped.

"Hold on to your grit, Jashinist!" Saki snapped irritably.

"Why-"

"Stop fighting you two!" Pein ordered sternly. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't ready for Mai's somewhat predictable reaction.

"What? Excuse me, Pein, but you're not the boss anymore! I am! Cuz dis is MY house, it's MY money, you guys are in MY debt, and you're wasting MY time! Deal with it, Idiot-sama!"

"I am still the leader of the Akatsuki," he growled through grit teeth.

"And I'm just fine with that, Pein. But, for now, I suggest you listen to me. Unless you want to go back to your lovely box out in the rain, that is."

"Fine," he muttered.

"Good."

"Then what is your name, 'leader'?" asked Sasuke in that annoying way he does.

"Saki, but your Highness works just fine, Uchiha," she smiled sarcastically.

"Tobi likes your Highness a lot!" Tobi yelled at the top of his lungs. Saki laughed loudly and failed at shushing him, ruffling the top of his fluffy little head.

"You're so cute for a criminal/murderer!" she cooed.

* * *

><p><em>Yay! I know it was a wierd but i had fun making it, so... I hope you guys like it! (Love is excepted too.)<em>

**Sasuke: See, she put more of me in it, she likes me more.**

**Naruto: Mazey-chan! Is that true? *pouts and lip wobbles***

_No, Naru-chan! Don't believe the Big Bad Uchiha! The Bigger Bad Uchiha has survived. So haha on your face, Uchiha-teme._

**Sasuke: Hn.**

_Excuse me? Well, guess what, mr.? HN! RIGHT BACK IN YOUR PRETTY BOY FACE!_

**Sasuke: You called me pretty.**

_Yeah. Pretty. But Naru-kun is foxy! *wink*_

**Naruto: Hehe. Stupid teme. You're a girl.**

**Sasuke: Shuttup dobe.**

**Naruto: Make me!**

**Hinata: I can think of a fun way to make you...**

_**Naruto, Sasuke and I: *looks at her wierdly and backs away***_

_Uh... kay. *runs away screaming of the apacolypse coming*_

**Naruto: Dammit, not again! Mazey! It's not the Apacolypse!**

**Hinata: Oops... did i just think that out loud?**


	3. Chapter 2

After a few hours of arguing, denial, and Saki/Tobi fluff, Saki came to a drastic conclusion.

"WAIT!" she yelled. "

"What?" asked Karin irritatingly. She had just been in the middle of (failing to) seduce Sasuke, and she had found herself annoyed at the interruption.

"If my friends are going to come over and see you-"

"You have friends?" Sasuke sneered, cat-version.

"Yeah, friends. They're people you care about and you hang out with and you share a connection with. But I understand you don't get the concept, considering you never had, never will have any," she snapped.

Ooh, that one hit below the belt.

Sasuke blinked his surprise and took a few steps back, sulking ONCE AGAIN.

"Anyways, I think you guys are going to need stage names," she grinned wickedly. All fourteen cats gulped in weariness. This was going to be humiliating. "Let's see…"

Saki grabbed a black-silver swirl gel pen and sparkly black and gold journal with a cool little leaf village symbol on the front cover.

"Names… Hmmm… Aaah!" she shrieked with evil glee.

Pein - Rocky

Konan - Zelda

Kisame - Nemo

Itachi - Smiley

Sasori - Elmo

Deidara - Barbie

Hidan - ET

Kakuzu - Richie

Zetsu - Trap

Tobi - Teddy

Suigetsu - Fang

Juugo - Hothead

Karin – Piper Gin

Sasuke – Lucifer

"Here you go, guys! Find your name and say it aloud!" she smirked.

"Rocky," Pein groaned. What did that have to do with him?

"Zelda!" Konan murmured. It had a nice ring to it. Wasn't it a name of like, a hot video game warrior chick?

"Nemo," Kisame grunted. How cliché, but at least it wasn't Jaws, or Gill or something equally bogus. I mean, it was an actual name.

"Smiley," Itachi growled, hating this girl even more than the usual annoying teenage girl. Why in hell did she pick that?

"Elmo…" Sasori mumbled. How pathetic. Named after a fuzzy, children's show puppet! Oh, how the irony killed him.

"Ba…" Deidara couldn't finish it. It was mortifying. Always compared to a girl. Named after, not only a girl, but a girls' doll. Saki had signed her death warrant that day. Deidara promised the girl would pay.

*OOH! I RHYMED!*

"ET?" Hidan half-asked. Seriously? What the fu-

"Richie," smirked Kakuzu. It fit. He liked her. Embarrassing the others and giving him his well-deserved title. Heh.

"Trap?" Zetsu said bluntly, not really getting it. What was the big deal with them? It wasn't their permanent names. They'd only be called it when Saki's friends came over. That couldn't be too often. And, besides, Trap wasn't actually such a bad name anyways…

"TEDDY!" Tobi shouted in glee, once again kitty-glomping Saki. She grinned and unattatched him, and reset him on her shoulder. Tobi didn't care what his name was! This girl was nice and didn't hit him! As far as he knew of, anyways.

"Fang," Suigetsu smiled smugly. That was a cool name, compared to some of the others. He could do Fang. Rawr.

"Hothead," Juugo mumbled, disgruntled at the choice. I mean, really? She had to go there?

"P-Piper Gin?" Karin shrieked annoyingly. What the hell?

"Your fur color reminds me of a bottle of Piper Gin. Be honored. I could have named you Four-Eyes the Fangirl," Saki word-slapped her. (To word-slap is to smack in the face with words.) Karin flinched and pouted, but backed down. Oh yeah. Don't mess with a Hitori bitch.

"Lucifer?" Sasuke scoffed. What a poor choice. What relations did it have to him at all?

"Yeah, Lucifer. I heard that's the name the devil used to have before he got kicked out and that he now uses when he comes to Earth," Saki grumbled. Sasuke shivered. Her glare was creeping him out.

"Well, now that that's all sorted out!" Saki continued in a scarily cheerful voice, considering she had just stopped giving the Uchiha a death glare. "How about we all go around and introduce ourselves and what we like to do?"

Deidara started to object, but she put up a hand that said don't-mess-with-me-Barbie-bitch.

"What do we say?" Suigetsu drawled, still ogling, ahem, observing the kunoichi. She rolled her eyes in a comically cute way and retorted, "You know. Likes, dislikes. Hobbies. Interests. Plans for the future. Junk like that."

The group sighed as they flashed back to their Genin days, reminiscing in their useless sensei's 'wise words.

"You first, Rocky," Saki commanded lazily, reminding Sasuke somewhat of the Nara. Pein scowled, but breathed in deeply and conceded.

"My name is Pein. I like power-"

"And apparently face piercings."

"- and dislike many, many people. I also dislike the name Rocky."

"Tough cheese."

"What…" he sighed. "I don't have any hobbies. I have an interest in… peace. My plans are-"

"WORLD DOMINATION!" Saki yelled, interrupting him for the third time. Pein glared at her. She giggled at his look. It was just so hard to be afraid of such a cute little kitty head!

"Whatever," he breathed out and settled back down. She grinned and pointed at the black one with red, burn-through-you-with-just-one-glare eyes.

"YOU!"

He sighed. "Uchiha Itachi."

Suddenly, the other black one broke through the others and growled out a low threat in kitty language and tried to tackle him. Saki watched with a calm, almost bored, expression.

"How are you still alive, dammit?" Sasuke screeched at his elder. Saki smirked. He glared at her. "What? Do YOU know?"

"Well, duh," she grinned, scoffing at his stupidity. "Magic."

She nearly busted a rib at the hateful expression he gave her.

**I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT ALL OF MY SISTER'S STORIES WILL BE DISCONTINUED. I AM MERELY POSTING WHAT SHE HAD BEEN WORKING ON AT THE MOMENT. GO TO HER USERPAGE FOR DETAILS, PLEASE. **


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